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:REVIEWS:
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VISITOR Q -
If
you're into shock cinema and can find humor in the vile and disgusting
(or at least, despite it), then this film is a must.
(Read
Tristan Sinn's Review)
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KILL GIRL KILL 2 -
If you’re a fan of the Suicide Girls and the more natural
alternative-looking girls (i.e. tattoos and Karen O hair cuts)
virtually anything Eon puts out is positively for you. Why, you ask? BECAUSE
YOU SEE THEM GET FUCKED.
(Read
Greyboy's Review)
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CLUB DREAD -
I'm
not against horror comedies, which have been suffering a backlash from
other die-hard genre nuts, but I am against stupid movies.
(Read
Amanda By Night's Review)
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YOUNG & THIRSTY -
These
girls are seasoned vets of the skin trade who attack cock with the kind
of brutal ferocity Rudy Giuliani unleashed on strippers and street vendors
back in the 90s.
(Read
Jesus' Review)
- GORE GORE GIRLS -
The
strength of The Gore Gore Girls lies within its creative murder
scenes and sheer raw pounds of brutalized flesh.
(Read
Tristan Sinn's Review)
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LIMO CONFIDENTIAL -
Peach's
stylish releases are more fun than competitors' offerings in the genre
of wholesome, middle-America-leaning softcore.
(Read
Jesus' Review)
- DISINFORMATION: The Complete TV Series -
It
ain't Disinformation's fault that the toughest outlaw-thinkers
these days happen to be stodgy old curmudgeons.
(Read
Talibano's Review)
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ISLAND FEVER 3 -
As
with most Digital Playground offerings, "Island Fever 3" is
an ideal choice for both genders and for couples... I'll bet even gay
dudes could get off to this.
(Read
Jesus' Review)
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RE-PENETRATOR -
Re-Penetrator
crosses lines you didn't know were drawn. It's more unnerving than the
decapitation videos out of Pakistan.
(Read
Jesus' Review)
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GEORGES BATAILLE'S STORY OF THE EYE -
McElhinney
gives us art that is arousing while giving us porn that is nauseating…
and in the process he blackens our souls just a little bit more.
(Read
Talibano's Review)
- DORM DAZE -
While
it's not Shakespeare (and would we really want that from National Lampoon?)
it is much better than the tawdry DVD cover art would lead you to believe.
(Read
Amanda By Night's Review)
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AZUMI -
This
is a damned fun movie, full of massive fight scenes with barrels of arterial
spray.
(Read
Tristan Sinn's Review)
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GOZU -
Miike
seeds a black humor in his movies that entertains as long as your antennae
is twisted enough to receive the signal.
(Read
Tristan Sinn's Review)
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CATHERINE -
Shot
predominantly on location in Budapest,
this movie goes above and beyond the usual adult entertainment. So if
you’re sick of the usual predictable crap, I highly recommend adding
CATHERINE to your collection.
(Read
Greyboy's Review)
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KING OF THE ANTS -
How
do you show someone ruthlessly crush a person's head in with a large kitchen
appliance and then go on to make an audience like them? It's tricky. Very
tricky.
(Read
Tristan Sinn's Review)
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GINGER SNAPS 2 & 3 -
A
common theme in these films seems to be "don't hit on Canadian goth
chicks."
(Read
Ryan-O's Review)
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THE PROWLER -
Director
Joseph Zito and SPFX great Tom Savini knew that it wasn't
the story that would set this film apart, but rather how much blood they
could bathe the actors in.
(Read
Amanda By Night's Review)
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HANGMAN'S CURSE -
Unfortunately,
the scariest thing in this film was David Keith's ill-advised eye
tuck.
(Read
Amanda By Night's Review)
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MYRA BRECKINRIDGE -
Myra
Breckenridge manages to take an allegory about the constraints of
sex and the allure of Hollywood and make them seem about as interesting
as a wet paper bag.
(Read
Amanda By Night's Review)
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THE THING WITH TWO HEADS -
"They
transplanted a WHITE BIGOT'S HEAD onto a SOUL BROTHER'S BODY!"
(Read
Amanda By Night's Review)
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GINGER SNAPS -
Ginger Snaps is a surprisingly good movie,
and it might just be our best Canadian import since Jason Priestley.
(Read
Talibano's Review)
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WACO: THE RULES OF ENGAGEMENT -
This is the kind of shit they never taught you in
history class.
Nor will they ever.
So go rent this thing.
(Read
Talibano's Review)
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EVERYBODY LOVES BIG BOOBIES VOL 2 -
Your
silent request to “shut the fuck up and bring on the BOOBS”
is answered with a cock-raising “YES!”
(Read
Nookie Monster's Review)
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SLUMBER PARTY MASSACRE -
Ah, the 80s! It was all about feathered hair, designer
jeans and maniacs who've escape from nuthouses seeking revenge on large
groups of teenage girls that are having unsupervised sleepovers. Wha?
I admit it was a kooky time…
(Read
Amanda By Night's Review)
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MONTY PYTHON'S MEANING OF LIFE -
Twenty years after its initial release, Monty Python's
final film The Meaning of Life remains their most fragmented, and
ultimately their least satisfying film. Having said that, it still definitely
has some fun moments and there's far worse ways that you could spend two
hours.
(Read
Bryn's Review)
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DELTA DELTA DIE -
Once in a blue moon, an exceptional tongue in cheek
gross out movie will come in under the radar. And even rarer is finding
a film where the lead character is so insane only Julie Strain could have
played her! You'll find both in this unusual treat which has arrived under
the title Delta Delta Die.
(Read
Amanda By Night's Review)
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MAN BEAST -
When Connie (Virginia Maynor, a.k.a Asa Maynor)
goes to the Himalayas in search of her brother, she and her companions
get more than they bargained for. Seems her dear, crazy brother was injected
with a strange serum that could kill him if he doesn't get back to his
mother country. But the truth behind the Yeti legend may stand in their
way…
(Read
Amanda By Night's Review)
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CAVE GIRL -
Daniel Roebuck fondles her breasts, teaches her
to say "sit on my face" and pops some prehistoric cherry. All
in all, good clean fun.
(Read
Amanda By Night's Review)
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ATTACK OF THE KILLER TOMATOES -
Umm… Yeah. Let's face it: this movie is mainly
known for the ridiculous title, which says "hilariously bad"
in 5 words. Unfortunately, after 25 years it can't be considered good,
and isn't bad enough to fall into the "so bad it's good" category.
That makes it fall into another category: "Just kinda lame."
(Read
Bryn's Review)
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JACK THE RIPPER -
Far from being another flick about Mac Daddy Ripper,
Rhino's DVD is actually a compilation of four poorly spliced together
episodes of the failed 1958 anthology TV series The Veil, hosted
by Boris Karloff.
(Read
Disco Dave's Review)
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DEATH MACHINES -
Filmed without a lick of style or an ounce of substance,
Death Machines still comes across as a pretty entertaining flick.
(Read
Amanda By Night's Review)
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POLICEWOMEN -
If
you're in the mood for a slow moving action film with a travel montage
thrown in the middle, then Policewomen is right up your alley.
(Read
Amanda By Night's Review)
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MALIBU BEACH -
Arguably
the best part of this movie comes in the form of a dog who runs around
the beach stealing girl's bras.
(Read
Ryan-O's Review)
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FLESHBURN -
The
moral of the story is this: don't piss off a psychotic Native American
dude, and if you do, make sure you've got a well-trained park ranger with
you at all times.
(Read
Ryan-O's Review)
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28 DAYS LATER -
28
Days Later is an excellent story about human survival, and while it
draws similarities to classic horror films (particularly George Romero's
zombie series), it is far more complex than the typical gore-fest.
(Read
Ryan-O's Review)
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BEAT
THE DEVIL -
Jesse
Jane plays an angel trying to outfuck the Devil, and damn if she doesn't
give old Lucifer an honest-to-God pounding. This
is not porn-as-you-know-it. It's actually a slick little movie with a
lot of really hot sex in it.
(Read
Jesus's Review)
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DAWN OF THE DEAD vs. RETURN OF THE LIVING
DEAD -
While
Dawn is essentially a serious drama, it was much more humorous
than either of Romero's other zombie films. Return doesn't
even try to be serious, placing a group of punk and new wave teen stereotypes
smack dab in a cemetery filled with brain-eating ghouls.
(Read
Ryan-O's Review)
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JACK'S PLAYGROUND -
If
you like your porn with a sense of humor and gonzo-style camera techniques,
you'll probably dig this one.
(Read
Jesus's Review)
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ADRIANA -
Adriana comes very close to transcending the style-over-substance
tag. It's star, Adriana Sage, is an incredibly hot Latina who is fascinating
to watch no matter what she's doing.
(Read
Jesus's Review)
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JOHN CARPENTER'S VAMPIRES
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The only reason I rented this was to see Sheryl Lee tied up. While
the gratuitous bondage scenes are worth the price of admission, I was
pleasantly surprised to find this an enjoyably tacky "B" horror
movie glossed up in big studio clothing.
(Read
Ryan-O's Review)
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ESCAPE FROM HELL
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This here is your classic Italian women-in-prison sleaze epic. The film
details the struggles of a bunch of attractive, scantily clad (or just
plain unclad) female prisoners who are being used as slave labor to clear
a path through the jungle (why is not important).
(Read
Ryan-O's Review)
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REFORM SCHOOL
GIRLS -
Reform
School Girls succeeds as a fine addition
to the heritage of chicks-in-chains flicks. There is enough sex and violence
here to piss off humorless feminists and enough campy fun to please jaded
gay porn fans.
(Read
Ryan-O's Review)
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MAX vs.
THE BELIEVER -
A steel-cage match of the two newest propaganda films in der Fuhrer's
arsenal. With tag-team appearances by Romper Stomper, The Boys
From Brazil, Triumph of the Will, and American History X,
this battle review is proof positive that Talibano is the Hulk
Hogan of UnitShifter.
(Read
the Full Battle by Talibano)
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MAX -
Max
deals with the life of young Adolf Hitler (Noah Taylor) in the years after
World War I and before the writing of Mein Kampf.
(Read
Talibano's Review)
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THE BELIEVER -
The
Believer is the story of Danny Balint
(Ryan Gosling), an articulate, attractive, intelligent, and militant Neo-Nazi
who just happens to be a Bar Mitzvah’d Jew.
(Read
Talibano's Review)
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PHANTASM -
It seems The Tall Man has
been stealing bodies from the local mortuary, shrinking them down to dwarf-size,
and…well, you kinda have to see it.
(Read
Ryan-O's Review)
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VAMPYRES -
Fuckin hot lesbian vampires. Need I say more?
(Read Talibano's Review)
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X-MEN -
A superhero flick based on the popular comic book about young mutant heroes
and anti-heroes who set out to rescue humanity despite the incessant prejudice
they face from the very people they’re rescuing.
(Read
Talibano's Review)
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SECRETARY -
Lee has recently been released from a mental hospital, where she was committed
for self-mutilation. Upon taking a job as a secretary for a reclusive
lawyer, she finds a different way of expressing her masochistic tendencies.
(Read
Ryan-O's Review)
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BATMAN RETURNS -
Anyone who argues that the first Batman was better is just obsessed with
the classics and/or stupid.
(Read
Talibano's Review)
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EUGENIE: The Story of Her
Journey into Perversion -
Based on a Marquis De Sade story, Eugenie is the story of a scheming
high society woman who seduces a rich man into allowing his virginal daughter
to spend a weekend at her island paradise--where the girl is subjected
to all kinds of sleazy goings-on.
(Read
Ryan-O's Review)
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PERDITA DURANGO (aka
DANCE WITH THE DEVIL) -
This movie has balls!
(Read
Talibano's Review)
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24 HOUR PARTY PEOPLE -
The story of Tony Wilson, a well-known British TV personality whose love
of punk rock led him to start Factory Records, home to Joy Division,
New Order and The Happy Mondays.
(Read
Ryan-O's Review)
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STARSHIP TROOPERS
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There are two types of people in the world: those who appreciate Starship
Troopers as one of the greatest films in recent history and those
who can kiss my ass. Actually, they can both kiss my ass-but Starship
Troopers rocks.
(Read
Talibano's Review)
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BARRIO WARS vs.
LATIN KINGZ -
In this issue's second battle review, Talibano puts these two Latin Gangsta
movies to the test in a Trial By Ordeal including such rigorous challenges
as Which Looks Shittier?, Can Any of These Fuckers Deliver a
Line?, Who Put 'em on the Glass?, Which Gangstaz Ain't Nothin'
Ta Fuck With?, and Does This Shit Make Any Fuckin' Sense?
(Read
the Full Battle by Talibano)
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BARRIO WARS -
Nothing
can hold up the flimsy treatment of this love story (which claims to derive
from Shakespeare, but I won't even entertain that presumption).
(Read
Talibano's Review)
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LATIN KINGZ -
Latin
Kingz might be good if you're high
and at a party. It's a little sexy, but not sexy enough to offend anyone...
ANYONE.
(Read
Talibano's Review)
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