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October 6
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- What the fuck?

Halle Berry is driving us fucking nuts.

This is just too freakin weird.

Apparently Halle Berry has been cast in
Showgirls 2: Curse of the Pleather Dominatrix.

Just kidding.

This supposedly is the new look for Catwoman in her upcoming movie. According to our sources, the script deals with a Fredrick's of Hollywood underwear model who fights crime by forcing felons to lick the bottom of her boots.

We can just imagine what the action figures for the movie will be like... and the McDonald's Happy Meal tie-ins? Excellent.

In related news, Ex-Catwoman Michelle Pfeiffer, most recently heard in the disgraceful Sinbad animated movie, has upped her therapy to three times a week.

- Mariah Carey is trying to sell a book of her life story and poetry. No seriously.

- Halle Berry's boyfriend, Eric Benet, has apparently dumped her ass. Maybe he saw that Catwoman picture, too.

- A little birdie told us that Vin Diesel is out of XXX2. His replacement? NWA-alum Ice Cube??? Uhh... yuh.

- There's lots of horror movie remakes on the horizon. Not only might Michael Myers be making his anime debut in a Halloween animated series (??!!!), but Wes Craven's The Hills Have Eyes might be making its way into remakeland... no doubt starring Vin Diesel in Michael Berryman's role (and maybe in a remake of the "Smokin In The Boys Room" video? wish wish).

- Tim Burton has great new toys for goth kids. Betty's fuckin PSYCHED!

- Word is that there's gonna be a new cable network of all-horror all the time. Supposedly John Carpenter, Tobe Hooper, and Wes Craven are gonna join the Advisory Panel. Their first project is a reality show where six girl scouts are dropped in the outback with only a compass and 3 boxes of cookies each... then 30 serial killers will be unleashed to hunt them down. The last girl scout standing gets 5 bucks and a ride home. Sounds like great television to us.

- Jennifer Connelly (who hasn't done a good movie since Labyrinth) was just cast in the remake of Dark Water, a japanese movie directed by Hideo Nakata (who also directed the original version of The Ring). It probably won't be as good as the anal-dildo scene in Requiem For A Dream, but it won't be difficult to outdo any other scene in that Darren Aronofsky piece of shit.

- As part of a $25-million lawsuit against Bad Boy Entertainment, former Bad Boy President Kirk Burrowes is claiming that Puffy was behind the murder of Tupac Shakur as well as the murder of Suge Knight's bodyguard. C'mon, Kirk, nobody would ever believe that.

- Unfortunately for Talibano, someone beat him to paying Lil Kim's bail. Lil Kim (Talibano's mistress) was arrested in 1996 at B.I.G. Poppa's house. Biggie had some handguns and Kim had some pot. We have a picture of Kim looking hot.

- Lil Jon & The East Side Boyz are following up their frontman's recent porn movie Lil Jon's American Sex Stories with a musical guest appearance in Jaleco Entertainment's new action video game Lowrider. We're hoping Lil Jon will get his shit together and release a video game version of his porn movie so we can all get low in the privacy of our own homes.

- The illustrious Dr. Dre is in talks with Time-Warner (formerly AOL/Time-Warner, previously plain old Time-Warner, soon-to-be Unitshifter/Time-Warner ) to have his Interscope-affiliated Aftermath make humongous amounts of money by producing the new album from Governor (who, incidentally, is not currently on the California recall ballot).

- B-movie icon Julie Strain will be making a guest-appearance in the new Seduction Cinema flick Dracula which also stars Seduction contract-girl and all-around starlet Misty Mundae.

- Misty Mundae will be hitting DVD shelves in her own starring-vehicle Spiderbabe, which appears fairly appalling (we hear she sprays her webbing from between her legs... yum?). That's due out on DVD October 14th.

- Also newly in release from Seduction Cinema is Pleasures of a Woman (which dropped October 4th). The new DVD from Retro-Seduction not only includes the 1972 lesbian cinema classic but also a 2003 remake starring Darian Cane. This is both fascinating and bizarre.

- In other Smut News, Shock-O-Rama and Video Outlaw released a Demon Discs 3-DVD set this past September 11th. The 3-disc set includes Demon Lust (1997), Demoness (1998), and Cremains (2000). Demon Lust features FX master Tom Savini (Dawn of the Dead) and Scream Queen Brinke Stevens (Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers), both of whom are fucking hot.

- Andre 3000 from Outkast may be playing Jimi Hendrix in the upcoming biopic by the Hughes Brothers. Everything about that is weird and potentially cool as fuck.

- They sure are making a lot of movies adapted from video games. Apparently Steven Spielberg has a huge hard-on for Fatal Frame, which is to be adapted into a movie over at Dreamworks. To be honest, it has the best premise for a movie version... hot chick with a video camera that "lets her see dead people." We miss the 80s when all those cameras just let horny high school guys see through their English teachers' clothing. Alas...

- Blue Underground has restored Jess Franco's epic women-in-prison sexploitation flick Sadomania, starring the late transsexual Ajita Wilson. What could we possibly say that would make that a more compelling news item?? [Talibano is very proud of the Fatal-Frame/Sadomania photo layout, by the way.]

- October 1st 2004 is the current release date for Blue Underground's highly anticipated Deathdream Special Edition DVD. Blue Underground promises a full red-carpet Special Edition for this 70's drive-in masterpiece from the director of Black Christmas and Children Shouldn't Play With Dead Things and the writer of Deranged and Cat People.

- Goathouse Productions is masterminding a porn version of Jackass called Buckass. Apparently it will include exploding cars, extreme antics, and, of course, extreme ass. Johnny Knoxville would be rolling over in his grave if he were dead and disliked porn.

- Nick Cannon [of Nickelodeon's Nick Cannon Show and the upcoming Garfield movie (based on the cat of the same name)] will be helping Hollywood dredge up even more 80s swill with Love Don't Cost A Thing, a remake of the 1987 Patrick Dempsey starrer Can't Buy Me Love. We know that will make some of you happy, but that's just cuz you're fucking crazy.

- Ashanti thinks that teaming up with the Family Violence Prevention Fund will make us forget that her new song/video "Rain On Me" fucking sucks--whether its about beating on women or not. Hype Williams is adapting that dumb video into a mini movie. What a schmuck.

- Omar Epps is in the remake of Alfie, but unfortunately he's not playing Michael Caine's character (that would be Jude Law). Epps can currently be seen in an even worse career move: Against The Ropes with 80s-has-been Meg Ryan.

- Jack Valenti, the MPAA's 200 year old kingpin/cryptkeeper/big- poppa, has pissed off a lot of independent Oscar-hopefuls by banning DVD screeners from being sent to judges. He claims that he is attempting to combat piracy. Apparently various Oscar judges have been downloading Valenti's home porn movies from KaZaa, where he's posted them for his Bangladeshi houseboy. Valenti was quoted as saying, "Ah hah! The only way the judges could know I love analingus is if they are members of KaZaa! Bloody pirates! No screeners for them!" This story is still developing...

Check last month's installment here...