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September 19
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- Even though Eminem pussied out on his Girl's Gone Wild video, the realest rappers still represent for porn. Up next? Platinum selling Lil Jon (of The East Side Boyz) will have his porn Lil Jon's American Sex Stories released by Video Team on October 30th. The video also features super hot Video Team contract girl Daisy.

- As if sullying the character of Storm wasn't bad enough, Halle Berry has taken the next step toward being the most appalling human being on Earth. Her new flick Gothika (an asylum horror movie costarring the hot Penelope Cruz) opens October 24th. Well, it seems that Team Fatass (aka Limp Bizkit) are doing a video for their cut off the Gothika soundtrack (a cover of The Who's "Behind Blue Eyes"). In a move with even less class than publicly auctioning off her boobs to hawk that abortion of a movie Swordfish, Berry has reportedly agreed to MAKE OUT WITH FRED DURST IN THE VIDEO!!! UCCHHH!!! I say we revoke her Oscar for this...

- Christian Bale has signed on to play the Dark Knight in Christopher Nolan's new Batman flick. Hopefully it won't be as crappy as Memento. Bale is best known for shoving a coat hanger up Chloe Sevigny's wazoo in American Psycho... we wonder if Robin's gonna wake up with a batarang up his keester-hole.

- Chingy got jacked for his shine at a mall in Philly.

- If you're in NYC and in the mood for some cajun pizza and underground movies, be sure to check out Blue Mondays at the Pioneer Theater (aka The Two Boots Pizza Multimedia Emporium). Blue Mondays is presented by Blue Underground, one of our favorite underground movie distributors. Bone [written and directed by Larry Cohen (who went on to write last year's Phone Booth) and starring Yaphet Kotto] plays on Monday September 29th. The Pioneer is on Avenue A in the East Village... try the Mr. Pink pizza and give Doris the finger for us.

- Seduction Cinema has signed sexploitation great Joseph Sarno to direct his first new movie in 20 years. Sarno has long been regarded as one of the greatest sleaze directors ever and the first to mix art-house with grind-house. He is best known for his 1968 film Inga, "the most acclaimed masterpiece of erotic cinema ever created" (according to our very own UnitShifter DVD Store!).

- Apparently there are nude photos and a sex video of Trina making the rounds on the web. If you got em, SEND EM HERE FER CHRISSAKES!

- Ol' Dirty Bastard's new name is Dirt McGirt. We think Big Baby Jesus was way better.

- Jessica Biel, the super hot slut from Seventh Heaven, is gonna be in the new Blade movie. Unfortunately, Blade's for kids so we ain't gonna see nothin.

- Playboy told Blu Cantrell to fuck off, they don't wanna pay her 600Gs to pull her tits out anymore. We, on the other hand, really want to see her cans. We passed a hat around and came up with 5 bucks. Hopefully she needs the money real bad.

- Sly Stallone is the latest fool to be lured into the tangled Death Row web. No, he's not launching a rap career... unfortunately he's continuing on with his failed film career. Right now he's got two movies in development: one about the LAPD Rampart Scandal and one about the murders of Tupac and Biggie. In his infinite wisdom, Sly has cast Suge Knight in both flicks. We suspect the next major true-crime movie will be about the unsolved murder of Sly Stallone.

- Fifty Cent dissed Lil Kim... we wouldn't diss Lil Kim because we think she's really really really dope. That makes Fifty Cent way more gangsta than us.

- Damon Dash (Rocafella's CEO) is directing a movie called Iced that's being produced by Monster's Ball producer Lee Daniels. We're hoping that Halle Berry will keep her whiny tits out of it.

- Misty Mundae, the popular Seduction Cinema starlet, is appearing in the music video for CKY's "Shock & Terror." We don't really dig CKY's music too much, but we gotta represent for them because CKY2K was a work of fuckin genius. Even the Jackass movie was pretty fuckin' dope for an MTV production (kicked the shit out of The Real Cancun anyhow).

- Rumor has it that M. Night Shyamalangadingdong is gonna write and direct the new Superman movie. At the end of the movie there's a twist that'll make all you dorks so fuckin happy--like Superman's already dead or he can be melted by water like the Wicked fuckin Witch or some other crap. Can someone find thisSchmangahang guy and kick his ass for us? Good thing Superman sucks anyway or we'd really be pissed.

- In related news, Brendan Fraser is rumored to be playing Superman. Would it be rude for us to silently hope that The Superman Curse gets him? Yeah, huh? Oh well...

- Dimension Films has a poll up where you can vote on whether or not there should be a Halloween versus Hellraiser movie now that all you geeks forked over your allowances for Freddy versus Jason. Our only question is... was Michael Myers ever scary? And who the fuck would bother paying ten bucks to see Pinhead fuck up that dork?? His mask looks like he's dressing up as a member of NAMBLA for chrissake! The only good Halloween was the third one where the kids stick their faces in a mask and then find out it's a portal to a glory hole in a public restroom.

- Cabin Fever made a whole grip o' money last week. You're all a bunch of retards.

Check last month's installment here...